Why get Married?

An Introduction to the Blog, Relationship, and Brief History of Wedding DJ Experience

Written by Tara Humphrey



The Premise: Our wedding is April 17th 2011. We have 10 and half months to go and this is the beginning of what I hope to be a blog that can help other brides as I muddle through the experience of booking my vendors, finding my dress, creating an interfaith ceremony, and dealing with the ever ugly budget! After 10 years in the wedding industry, let's see if I can put my knowledge through the ultimate test!



When I was a child in the glorious 80's other little girls set out planning their weddings scribbled in spirals. They used their mother's dresses, kissed mirrors as their grooms, and used sheets to act as veils while they took big strides in their bedrooms. Not me! I talked about eloping to a faraway country on a beach, and played Michael Jackson on my record player that lit up to the beats and made my girlfriends shriek in the dark during slumber parties. I loved books, not dresses, preferred New Wave over pop and dreamed about travel and writing over boys. I wanted a CAREER and I was being raised by a FEMINIST with serious capital letters.

Absolutely nothing changed through the nineties. Imagine shaved Sinead O'Conner hair, Amnesty International, and spirals full of sometimes bad, but overall decent youthful poetry. After years of college, backpacking and sleeping in my car as a traveling poet and waiting tables periodically, September 11th hit America and the economy and I needed a second job. Badly. However, with a background in Anthropology, Philosophy, and writing, jobs were then, and still are, a bit sparse. I was very lucky to meet the owner of Complete Music and Video in Dallas, while I waited on them at a Chili's restaurant. He offered me a job on the spot! I thought “I can play music, how hard could it be?” What can I tell you, I was naïve.


The first year I was a DJ in Dallas I learned mere mechanics. It is true, I had no idea what RCA cords were or how important they were to a DJ system. Then I learned to battle the fact that very few people wanted a female DJ and I had to make myself better if I wanted to pay my bills. After I had gotten a bit of confidence I began to be swept away by the beauty of the dresses, the shoes, the scent of flowers cascading from the reception hall. When brides cried as I cued them to walk down the aisle, I was moved. For the first time in my life, I started to think a wedding was worth the trouble, the money, and the time. I still had no desire to get married, but on Sunday nights when my girls and I got together to watch Sex in the City, I planned their weddings for them, suited to their eclectic tastes.


I moved to Austin, TX in 2002 and continued to DJ for the Austin Franchise of Complete Music and Video. By that time I had accomplished the tasks needed to become an excellent wedding DJ, but I had a lot to learn. And I did learn.

I learned what a bride wanted and needed. I learned I could still love The Flaming Lips, but play the YMCA to get the guests dancing. I succeeded at bustling dresses, holding a tearful bride's hands, pouring champagne when they didn't hire a catering company, I have worn a firefighter's costume, all the while trying to find the perfect piece of music for every moment of their wedding. I learned I was no longer hip or cool, but I brought JOY!

These lessons are what gave me the many awards I received as a Wedding DJ, including DJ of the Year, Best Evaluation (on a yearly basis), and the promotion to Director of Sales.

Soon after, I, like so many women before me, fell in love. My now fiancee, Brandt, did not even flinch when I said I worked in the wedding industry. The day we met, he asked how I would like to get married and I said “If I had to get married, I would like to elope, but my mother would be furious”. He laughed. I did concede later that after watching so many other loving couples get married I had warmed to the idea of a lifetime of companionship.

Many years later, as our daughter celebrated her first birthday, Brandt looked at me and said it was time for a wedding.

I still struggled with the concept of marriage and a big wedding. I already have the marriage I want, a loving man and father, a beautiful daughter. Why then would I choose a big wedding? Is it really my “special special day” like everyone says. I don't think so.

The truth is, I don't think weddings are just about the bride and groom. I think these lavish affairs are for the family and friends who may never have met, who brought them together, and who may never meet again. But for one day or long fantastic weekend the bride and groom can pack their loved ones into a room and say thank you. What better way to say “thank you” than good food, good wine, and music that makes everyone want to dance.

Of course, what Brandt doesn't know, I filled out my own spiral notebook of our wedding after our first year together. Yup,we are in for a ride.