What's in a Name?

A Lot! While feminists and traditionalists have debated for and against a woman taking her husband's last name for years, it is my turn to make this decision. Surprisingly, neither argument moves me to choose, instead it feels personal and pragmatic.

After some time searching Wikipedia, various websites, and talking to married female friends I found out a few interesting facts. First of all, only English speaking countries expect a woman to change her name after she gets married. I also realized I was not alone in my panic of a new identity and, honestly, it is confusing to have two names in a household from veterinarian to pediatrician appointments.
I have always been Tara Humphrey and my last name, while I never loved it, means Peace. Peace is something I do like and I am proud my name has such a dignified meaning. On the other hand, I can't imagine a life trying to explain each time I make an appointment for our child, why we have different names.

While I am envious of all the other cultures that automatically assume a woman will keep her parent's name, I have chosen to take Brandt's last name, Herrington, and replace my middle name with Humphrey. No one uses my middle name but my mother and she still can! So my identity will still be Tara Humphrey and I am only adding to who I am instead of replacing who I was before I was married. Isn't that the point of marriage?

So how am I going to change my name? Oh, so much work, but a friend of mine gave me "The Name Change Kit". And it is awesome. I LOVE, LOVE this kit. It is helping organize the overwhelming process with lists and paperwork for a smooth transition to becoming Tara Humphrey Herrington. Here I go.
P.S. This is a long process, so make sure you are not leaving the country anytime soon after you start changing your name.

My Glorious Wedding Mistake

Yes, that is right, a mistake. I chose the Travis Room at Vintage Villas before I had written out the guest list to its completion. It's true, I know better, but I love, love the Travis Room, and I honestly didn't think our guest list would keep expanding. Even after we got the guest list down to only people we knew for eight years or longer we were maxing out the venue. So the past couple weeks Brandt and I had several conversations and I had to make a few embarrassing phone calls. The good news is Vintage Villas had their larger Event Center still available and I think my wedding vendors had a great time laughing at me. :)



We could have invited less, but we would have offended a few people. Weddings are like funerals in the sense that they are both times in people lives that can bring out the worst and the best in each other. Families true colors will come into being and whether you are selfish or generous the bride's and grooms behavior will be spotlighted. So, Goodbye Travis and Hello, Event Center!


Here is what I have learned or already knew, but ignored and payed the price:

1. Duh, write a COMPREHENSIVE guest list before you choose the facility!
2. If your venue has two reception areas available ask for the cost of both of them.
3. Do not order your invitations until you get closer to the date and you have finalized EVERYTHING! (I should have waited)
4. 25% of the people you will invite will probably not attend, but also remember, if you invite them, they will come!
5. Do not invite people you have not spoken to in the past year. Email counts as talking, but Facebook does not!
6. Add in the plus ones, especially if they have been dating your cousin for 3 years! A wedding is a social gathering and can be uncomfortable for many single people. I cannot tell you how offended I have been when I have been invited to a wedding, but Brandt wasn't, even though we had been together longer than the special couple.
7. A nice touch is to offer babysitting for the children.
8. You probably don't want to invite an ex!
9. A head table adds something great to a room, but if your wedding party are all married, opt for a sweetheart table instead and sit your wedding party with their partners.
10. If you don't want them there, don't invite them.