To Tip or Not to Tip - That is the Question

So after spending lots and lots of money and working with a budget, it is time to include the finances of tipping. As a DJ, when a bride asked me what to tip, I was honestly uncomfortable and now as a Bride, when I ask vendors to tell me what to tip, I watch them squirm.
So, I have scoured the internet, read magazines. and talked to my wedding coordinator, Kathie. Kathie was able to produce a Tipping List and I am relieved. I have to see all of my wedding professionals every day long after my wedding and I cannot appear cheap or withhold hard earned and deserved tips. Even if I didn't already call many of my vendors friends, I would still want to tip appropriately. I put myself through college by waiting tables and now the tables have turned. Pun intended.




Tipping Chart Guidelines

One of the most common questions asked to me is who to tip and how much to tip. I tell all of my brides, that tipping is not necessary, but it is a very nice way to say” thank you”, to the vendors that help make your day special. It is not so much about the amount, but that you acknowledge the vendors for the role they played in the days leading up to your wedding and on your wedding day. The following amounts are merely guiding suggestions; you’re free to give more to professionals who exceeded your expectations and really made your day special. And of course, I suggest that you include a beautiful thank-you note.

Event planner: 10 to 20 percent of your bill, depending on the terms of contract or a nice gift.

Officiants: $50 to $100 on top of any set fees. If they do not accept a cash gift, a donation to their place of worship is kind and appropriate.

Organists and ceremony musicians: $20 to $40, depending on length of service – Most of Musicians have their tip included. Ask you Event Planner if you have any questions.

Reception site manager: 15 to 20 percent of entire bill for the reception. check your contract to see if gratuity is already included. Waiters: $20 to $40 each, depending upon quality of service. If you saw that there were only a few waiters who worked their tails off, give them more ( in most cases this is already included in your final bill).

Valets: $1-$2 per car

Bartenders: 15 percent of liquor bill. Check your contract to see if gratuity is already included.

Coat check: $1 per coat

Limousine drivers: 15 to 20 percent of transportation bill (Check to see if tip is already included in the contract first! If so, then on-the-day tip may be smaller as a token for great service, or left out altogether)

Photographer and Videographer: A $50 tip is completely acceptable and they can split it with their assistant.

Entertainers: $25 to $30 each, more if they really exceeded expectations. Again, check your contract to see if gratuity is already included.

DJ: 10 to 20 percent of your total bill, if they do an amazing job

Beauticians and barbers, manicurists and makeup artists: 15 to 20 percent of beauty salon bill – don’t forget the shampoo person!

Delivery Drivers: A $10 tip for each delivery of flowers, linens, or cakes is a very nice gesture.

Altar boys or girls - $10-15.00 each

Baby-sitters: $30 to $40 each, plus a gift, in addition to their hourly wages; more if baby-sitter is putting in extra hours or caring for several children.

The Internet Wedding of My Dreams?

I love the internet, use the internet, shop the internet, and now I find myself browsing for the best prices on the internet. It is amazing how I can go to ten different websites and get 10 different costs on the exact same item and even the same brand. I spent hours last night until I figured out what I wanted and what I needed to buy.

I am happy where I, as a consumer, can get online and find precisely what I want and get what I need without leaving my house in the hot, Texas summer.

However, I am a little surprised with many of the cheesy and ugly wedding necessities people try to pawn off on brides. And if one isn't interested in frumpy lace, feminine hearts, or trendy polka dots, one had better be ready to pull out their fat pocketbooks to buy the ONE hip, elegant, attractive item ONE company offers. Weddings are brutal.

After a lengthy time staring at a computer screen, donning my carpal tunnel shield, I found a few buys that I am happy to have purchased.

The Beverly Clark Manhattan Collection pictured above at http://magicalday.com/ was the first thing I bought. Honestly, I am not sure about the flutes or the cutting pieces, but I can always use those as a gift for someone later. If there is a better set of wedding items, I couldn't find them and I tried.

The beautiful Interfaith Ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) from the http://ketubahstore.com/ was the least expensive I could find on the internet. And I love the artist Nava Shalom. I have seen her ketubahs sell for a lot more. The best Ketubah spot online!



I am still hunting for unity candles, still looking at registering, and still eying the debit card wondering what else do I need to purchase. Ahh, yes, I still need to find the perfect pair of shoes, but that is not a task for the world wide web. No, shoe shopping might take the full nine months until our wedding date. At the very least it will take several leisurely afternoons of sultry saunters and sighs. Until I can actually get to Neiman Marcus, it won't hurt to browse.

The Wedding DJ Makes the Worst Bride

When I got engaged I thought it would be so easy to plan a wedding. After years of seeing and participating in events, helping all my friends and acquaintances, and talking to wedding vendors daily, I thought I might know a thing or two. Maybe not.

After the past week and a half, I find myself overwhelmed and stressed. I realized on Monday that during my daughter's nap time: I was trying to juggle sales calls, a contractor for a bathroom on the fritz, a blog, writing thank you notes for Brides Against Breast Cancer, while frantically trying to do the last edit on my first novel because some wonderful agent actually wants to read the whole manuscript.

So, I hired a wedding coordinator. Kathie Millen and Amber with Austin Wedding Planners and Elite events. I didn't hire them fast enough. I was a crazy person at our meeting yesterday, holding up a magazine photo of flowers, saying "these are my colors. Can you do it?"



Kathie knows how I work and thank God for this. I had the list of vendors and contracts in my head and I couldn't even fill out her paperwork appropriately and on time. She was very forgiving. Kathie also knows the ins and outs of a Jewish ceremony and/or Jewish Interfaith ceremony. I knew she could be sensitive to our family's religious and emotional needs while respecting both myself and Brandt.

Did I also mention she has a warehouse full of wonderful items for decorations? And she said we could actually go there and pick items out?

She even asked me the kind of cake I wanted and she would order it for me from Michelle's Patisserie. I do love Michelle and would love to do a tasting, but I don't like cake except for carrot and German Chocolate and that is exactly what I ordered. I already have tasted those and I can't wait to eat them on our wedding day. Yes, I asked for a tres leches for the bottom tier, for the guests. I hear it is fabulous, but the only way I can keep the weight off in the wedding industry is to stay away from the cake. A little wonderful note: Michelle does not use fondant unless requested. (Big sigh of relief, my mother loves butter cream)



After all that, Kathie is taking care of writing up the budget I am tired of pouting over and happily accepts my snap decisions. She knows all I want to do is be a mama, be a wife, write, and decide on the music for my wedding. I said several times "Just surprise me"! And I know better! I know that the bride who doesn't give a lot of direction is the scariest bride of them all. All of her wedding vendors, praying during her event, they have met her veiled expectations. I am that bride now and Lauren at Vintage Villas and Kathie Millen are unfettered, calming all my concerns, so I can jump into the realm of a more balanced life.

To hire Elite or Austin Wedding Planners go to: http://www.austinweddingplanners.com

Here are a few other coordinators I love:

Keri Wootton owner of Leave the Details to Me keri@leavethedetails2me.com
Barbara Hearne owner of Barbara's Brides http://www.barbarasbrides.com
Tanya Posavatz CSEP owner of [clink] http://www.clinkevents.com

I Found the Dress

After a wonderful weekend volunteering for Bride's Against Breast Cancer, I have found my wedding gown. Yes, it is couture and 100% of the proceeds went to a wonderful charity. In fact, I am wearing the dress as I write this post. I love silk.

During the past few days I was reminded why I love working in the wedding industry. Not only were we able to raise $1000's of dollars for charity, but we had so many prizes to give away to brides. I was warmed by the many happy tears as other women found their dress or won a trip for two.

Shopping for a dress was new to me and watching other brides shopping for a dress was a part of the wedding process I have never paid any attention to and I was overwhelmed.

In order for me to prepare for Brides Against Breast Cancer and buy a dress I have spent so much time researching and learning.

Did you know:
The dress should be stored in a breathable cotton bag? (No plastic)
There is no need to pay for dress preservation? Just wrap dress with cotton muslin and keep it out of direct sunlight. Once a year pull the dress out, wash the muslin, and wrap the dress again.
Couture dresses run small? Sometimes even by more than one size? (cruel)
A dress can usually be let out by 1 size, but can be reduced by about 2 sizes?

It is only because of so many great vendors we were able to accomplish and create a spectacular event. My hats off go to The Renaissance Hotel, Elite Weddings, An Event to Remember, Men's Wearhouse, Dragon Fly Designs, Floral Renaissance, Ron Parks Photography, Ideal Heel, Bouquets of Austin, Premiere Party Central, and The Wedding Guide. Not only were they amazing, but so were all those fantastic volunteers. It was no small feat.

We are already getting ready Brides Against Breast Cancer in 2011!

Brides Against Breast Cancer

Untitled from Complete Music & Video Austin on Vimeo.

Not the dress I bought, but who could resist wearing an Angie Sanchez gown. After watching this video, I am realizing it is true, the camera does add 10 pounds to the figure.