Interfaith Happily Ever After

Over the years, interfaith marriage has become more and more frequent. Of course, as a wedding DJ company in Austin, so many of the ceremonies we participate in include a wide variety of religions and cultures. (Maybe I do use that Anthropology degree) I have always enjoyed the creativity I have seen many couples use to tackle what can be a sensitive and divisive subject.

It is now my turn. I am Jewish and Brandt was raised Baptist who now enjoys dabbling in Buddhism, meditation, Christmas, and whatever else sparks his interest. Early in our courtship, we discussed our differences matter-of-factly, put our cards on the table, and promised each other our religion would not be an issue. What is that cliche? Ah yes..."easier said than done."

I know some people don't care, convert to their future spouses faith, or never had a life of religion, however, both Brandt and I were raised with heaping spoonfuls of religion every day. Never a meal without a prayer or a holiday without purpose. While Brandt and I have come to our own agreements that work for us, it is not without difficulty. There are times both of us, and our families, have to grieve the loss of our expectations and dreams.

I can honestly say that each person, on either side of our families, always wants and tries to do the right thing. I can see us all working so hard to be kind and respectful as we make a path into the unknown. All of us, are amending our prior biases and ready for the next hurdle spurred on by Brandt and myself. We are the ones getting married and creating a rather interesting union.

Our daily religious life is up to us and rarely a light shines upon it, but with the birth of our daughter, and now a wedding ceremony, we have to make decisions for all to witness. While Brandt and I can talk all day along about the music, when we get to the ceremony our conversation begins "Are you ready to discuss the particulars of the ceremony?" The next sentence is "How do we please and respect our families?"

We still don't know. We decide on one detail each time and one of us usually sighs and gives up. This is what we have so far: We will have a chuppah (Jewish tradition), we will have a unity candle (a Christian tradition), Brandt and I both will be escorted down the aisle by our respective parents, if they want,(Jewish and feminism) and no religious music. No religious music is mainly due to working in the wedding industry and hearing the music one too many times. I do not want to feel like I am at work on my wedding day. Our plan is to make one more decision a week until we can complete this overwhelming task. I am so relieve we can and do communicate. It is exhausting, but worth every bit of energy.

Now, all we have to do is find an officiant to handle all of our innovative requests.