Wanna Dance?

As I am getting ready to DJ an amazing wedding this Friday, always taking sales calls, and, of course,answering slews of questions regarding music and dancing, I thought I would post a few items to help couples blend their own tastes of music with a packed dance floor.


How do I know my DJ will play the music I want?

Honestly, after you choose your DJ and the agreement, you can only trust them. (The importance of hiring a great DJ versus a cheap DJ) I have a friend who is getting married in December and she absolutely, unequivocally did not want a DJ. A band wasn't an option for her either, she wanted her music, her way, and was terrified of a DJ being cheesy or not playing her music. She has since hired a fantastic DJ in Dallas at my encouragement. But this is what I am having her do, in order to assuage her concerns and it is what I am doing for my own wedding, because music is what I love.
She is creating a list of music she wants played. Each hour the DJ will play about 15 to 20 songs, so limit the song list to the hours needed. Here is her template she asked me to create for her including the ceremony:

Prelude music: lasts around 30 minutes: The DJ will play about 10 songs but will need about 15 songs in case the time line doesn't go according to plan. If you want classical music for your ceremony then keep with classical for the prelude.

Ceremony music:
1. A song for escorting the mothers and grandmothers down the aisle.
2. A song for the Bridal Party
3. Processional ( a song for the Bride)
4. Unity Candle, Seven Blessing, Sand Ceremony, etc
5. Recessional (the entire wedding party leaving the ceremony)


Cocktail Music: While you are taking pictures with your bridal party and family, your guests will be listening to about 30 minutes of music while enjoying each other and scrumptious appetizers. The DJ will only play about 10 songs, but will again need about 15 in case your photographer wants you a bit longer. Cocktail and dinner music should be fun and upbeat (no classical), while allowing your guests the opportunity to speak clearly. The ceremony, cocktail, and dinner music are all great places to strategically place your own tunes that might fall flat on your dance floor. Ideas are: classic jazz such as Frank Sinatra, Texas Country Music, Alternative, some of your favorite underground indie rock, or even a mix of favorites from the Rolling Stones or the Doors, whatever your fancy.

Dinner Music: You will need about 25 to 30 songs for your dinner music. Dinner will last approximately an hour, and you might only have time for 20 songs, but your DJ will need more, just in case!

Specialty Dances: (Tip: Stick to 2 no more than three of these, your guests don't care and won't be watching)
First Dance
Father/Daughter
Mother/Son
Wedding Party
Parents Dance

Dance Music: Your DJ will need about 20 songs per hour. However, I recommend giving your DJ a DO NOT PLAY LIST, and letting your guests request songs within reason. If the most important thing is that your guests dance, go ahead and give them those solid 70's and 80's jams.

Songs you might have fun choosing, but most of the time people let the DJ do this job: Cake Cutting, Bouquet, Garter, the Last Dance and the introduction song.

How do I get my guests to Dance?
1. If the bride and groom are on the dance floor, then the people will come.
2. Don't get a huge dance floor, make it smaller.
3. Invite the capacity of people permitted in your venue. The energy of a packed room helps.
4. Play the music appropriate to your crowd. e.g. I love Texas country music, but only three people will actually dance to that at our wedding, so I am sadly nixing local Austin music from our list of songs.
5. Meet with your DJ and go over icebreakers. You might be surprised to find there are many icebreakers without the cheese!
6. When your DJ says "This particular song may not get people dancing" Listen to him/her.

You can send this music to your DJ and they should be able to buy it or burn the music to lots of CDS and give it to them.

(Song suggestions coming soon)

What's in a Name?

A Lot! While feminists and traditionalists have debated for and against a woman taking her husband's last name for years, it is my turn to make this decision. Surprisingly, neither argument moves me to choose, instead it feels personal and pragmatic.

After some time searching Wikipedia, various websites, and talking to married female friends I found out a few interesting facts. First of all, only English speaking countries expect a woman to change her name after she gets married. I also realized I was not alone in my panic of a new identity and, honestly, it is confusing to have two names in a household from veterinarian to pediatrician appointments.
I have always been Tara Humphrey and my last name, while I never loved it, means Peace. Peace is something I do like and I am proud my name has such a dignified meaning. On the other hand, I can't imagine a life trying to explain each time I make an appointment for our child, why we have different names.

While I am envious of all the other cultures that automatically assume a woman will keep her parent's name, I have chosen to take Brandt's last name, Herrington, and replace my middle name with Humphrey. No one uses my middle name but my mother and she still can! So my identity will still be Tara Humphrey and I am only adding to who I am instead of replacing who I was before I was married. Isn't that the point of marriage?

So how am I going to change my name? Oh, so much work, but a friend of mine gave me "The Name Change Kit". And it is awesome. I LOVE, LOVE this kit. It is helping organize the overwhelming process with lists and paperwork for a smooth transition to becoming Tara Humphrey Herrington. Here I go.
P.S. This is a long process, so make sure you are not leaving the country anytime soon after you start changing your name.

My Glorious Wedding Mistake

Yes, that is right, a mistake. I chose the Travis Room at Vintage Villas before I had written out the guest list to its completion. It's true, I know better, but I love, love the Travis Room, and I honestly didn't think our guest list would keep expanding. Even after we got the guest list down to only people we knew for eight years or longer we were maxing out the venue. So the past couple weeks Brandt and I had several conversations and I had to make a few embarrassing phone calls. The good news is Vintage Villas had their larger Event Center still available and I think my wedding vendors had a great time laughing at me. :)



We could have invited less, but we would have offended a few people. Weddings are like funerals in the sense that they are both times in people lives that can bring out the worst and the best in each other. Families true colors will come into being and whether you are selfish or generous the bride's and grooms behavior will be spotlighted. So, Goodbye Travis and Hello, Event Center!


Here is what I have learned or already knew, but ignored and payed the price:

1. Duh, write a COMPREHENSIVE guest list before you choose the facility!
2. If your venue has two reception areas available ask for the cost of both of them.
3. Do not order your invitations until you get closer to the date and you have finalized EVERYTHING! (I should have waited)
4. 25% of the people you will invite will probably not attend, but also remember, if you invite them, they will come!
5. Do not invite people you have not spoken to in the past year. Email counts as talking, but Facebook does not!
6. Add in the plus ones, especially if they have been dating your cousin for 3 years! A wedding is a social gathering and can be uncomfortable for many single people. I cannot tell you how offended I have been when I have been invited to a wedding, but Brandt wasn't, even though we had been together longer than the special couple.
7. A nice touch is to offer babysitting for the children.
8. You probably don't want to invite an ex!
9. A head table adds something great to a room, but if your wedding party are all married, opt for a sweetheart table instead and sit your wedding party with their partners.
10. If you don't want them there, don't invite them.

How to Spot a Phenomenal Wedding DJ

After several weeks vacation I am back and ready to blog. Of course, I have chosen to hire Complete Music and Video for my wedding. Oh, a band would be wonderful, but that comes with a serious price tag. The next best thing is a really good DJ. Anyone can push play, I want someone to lead my event and take care of my guests!
Looking for a Wedding DJ?

The Top 10 Things to Know and Look for in a Professional Disc Jockey


1. Expect a prompt return on all phone calls and emails: If you haven't received return correspondence in 24 hours it might be time to move on. However if you called on a Friday night, give your professionals until Monday morning. They were performing at events all weekend long.

2. Are they willing to meet with you?: You should meet with your DJ company, prior to signing the contract, whenever possible. Be sure there you may also meet and plan with your DJ a few weeks before your event. It is very hard to build a rapport on the phone or via email.

3. If the price is too good to be true, it is!: Sure, you can find a single DJ out there who is ready to DJ your event for $300. But are they good? Do they have someone on call in case of emergency? Can they guarantee a DJ if something happens to them? What if the equipment malfunctions? Are they playing pirated music? Do they know how to MC and coordinate with all your vendors? Do any of your other vendors know who they are?

4. What kind of DJ are they?: If you are having a wedding, make sure your DJ understands the ins and outs of a wedding. A Club DJ is wonderful at a club, but usually they have not been trained in wedding announcements, the flow of a wedding, appropriate dress, personality, and the communication it takes to work with all your other vendors.

5. Documents and Ethics of your DJ: Your DJ should be INSURED and use a contract to book your event. There should be no side deals and they should never drink or use illegal drugs while performing.

6. Wondering what Music will be played: You have every right to choose 100% of your music and the DJ will be able to guide you on what will work and what won't. Your DJ has to be a chameleon and be able to play the kind of music that will make your guests want to get up and dance! Make sure they have a music library you can look through and they will get whatever music you want as long as it is in print.

7. The Entire Package: Be sure to read the fine print and look at what is included in your package. Be sure they are not going to charge you for a wireless mic, lavalier mic, lights, or attaining more music for you. You will be paying more than what you thought and can blow your wedding budget.

8. Your DJ's Personality: While you want to make sure they have the equipment necessary, believe it or not, anybody can go out and buy the fanciest turntables. What makes a great DJ is not their equipment or lights, but their ability to entertain and work with the client and the vendor. They are not the star of the show, YOU are, and your professional DJ is working tirelessly to insure your event is everything you dreamed.

9. Motivating Your Crowd: Ask your DJ how they are going to motivate your crowd. Can they suggest icebreakers that you like, and work with the entire team of your your event, will they be the master of ceremonies?

10. Your DJ should be able to accomplish all of these tasks at your wedding: MC the event, light and sound technician, coexist and coordinate with all other vendors at your event, motivates your crowd, organizes and helps plan out your music carefully, seamless music without pauses unless otherwise stated, will be able to read the crowd carefully and picks the right music for the right moment, is flexible with abrupt changes, and above all else, follows the plan that you and your wedding professionals have created. (written by Tara Humphrey with Complete Music and Video)

I love photography. I can't tell anybody how to take a picture and I am not a photojournalist, but I love to look at photos and say words like 'cool' and 'pretty'. So when it came down to choosing a photographer for our wedding I was excited. I pored over several websites of my favorite photographers and struggled with who we should hire for our wedding.

There are so many photographers in Austin and with the digital camera age so many people think they know how to take a picture. The reality is, I have heard from too many brides and grooms looking for their wedding photographer so they can get their wedding photos back long after they were due. I had already narrowed my search down to the wonderful people I have worked with over the years, and after a long discussion, we chose Ron Parks Photography.

We chose Ron for a variety of reasons, but there were three deciding factors. I knew Ron would get along with my family members, he would be able to take wedding photos and still do an amazing job as an artist, and lastly, even if he can't be there, the photographers on his staff will do just as great a job.


I asked Ron if he could tell me what the top three most important things one should look for in their photographer and here is what he had to say.

1. Budget: Be sure the photographer is within your budget and be careful to budget enough money for a good photographer. Your photos will be one of the few items that will remain after your wedding is over.

2. Chemistry: The photographer's personality should add to your day's experience, rather than take away from your wedding.

3. Dependability: This includes everything from returning phone calls and emails promptly, to arriving on time, not leaving early, getting the photos back within a reasonable amount of time, and delivering all that is promised. The best way to choose a dependable photographer is to look for referrals, ask about any awards they have received, ratings on wedding websites, and by how long the photographer has been in business.

To Tip or Not to Tip - That is the Question

So after spending lots and lots of money and working with a budget, it is time to include the finances of tipping. As a DJ, when a bride asked me what to tip, I was honestly uncomfortable and now as a Bride, when I ask vendors to tell me what to tip, I watch them squirm.
So, I have scoured the internet, read magazines. and talked to my wedding coordinator, Kathie. Kathie was able to produce a Tipping List and I am relieved. I have to see all of my wedding professionals every day long after my wedding and I cannot appear cheap or withhold hard earned and deserved tips. Even if I didn't already call many of my vendors friends, I would still want to tip appropriately. I put myself through college by waiting tables and now the tables have turned. Pun intended.




Tipping Chart Guidelines

One of the most common questions asked to me is who to tip and how much to tip. I tell all of my brides, that tipping is not necessary, but it is a very nice way to say” thank you”, to the vendors that help make your day special. It is not so much about the amount, but that you acknowledge the vendors for the role they played in the days leading up to your wedding and on your wedding day. The following amounts are merely guiding suggestions; you’re free to give more to professionals who exceeded your expectations and really made your day special. And of course, I suggest that you include a beautiful thank-you note.

Event planner: 10 to 20 percent of your bill, depending on the terms of contract or a nice gift.

Officiants: $50 to $100 on top of any set fees. If they do not accept a cash gift, a donation to their place of worship is kind and appropriate.

Organists and ceremony musicians: $20 to $40, depending on length of service – Most of Musicians have their tip included. Ask you Event Planner if you have any questions.

Reception site manager: 15 to 20 percent of entire bill for the reception. check your contract to see if gratuity is already included. Waiters: $20 to $40 each, depending upon quality of service. If you saw that there were only a few waiters who worked their tails off, give them more ( in most cases this is already included in your final bill).

Valets: $1-$2 per car

Bartenders: 15 percent of liquor bill. Check your contract to see if gratuity is already included.

Coat check: $1 per coat

Limousine drivers: 15 to 20 percent of transportation bill (Check to see if tip is already included in the contract first! If so, then on-the-day tip may be smaller as a token for great service, or left out altogether)

Photographer and Videographer: A $50 tip is completely acceptable and they can split it with their assistant.

Entertainers: $25 to $30 each, more if they really exceeded expectations. Again, check your contract to see if gratuity is already included.

DJ: 10 to 20 percent of your total bill, if they do an amazing job

Beauticians and barbers, manicurists and makeup artists: 15 to 20 percent of beauty salon bill – don’t forget the shampoo person!

Delivery Drivers: A $10 tip for each delivery of flowers, linens, or cakes is a very nice gesture.

Altar boys or girls - $10-15.00 each

Baby-sitters: $30 to $40 each, plus a gift, in addition to their hourly wages; more if baby-sitter is putting in extra hours or caring for several children.

The Internet Wedding of My Dreams?

I love the internet, use the internet, shop the internet, and now I find myself browsing for the best prices on the internet. It is amazing how I can go to ten different websites and get 10 different costs on the exact same item and even the same brand. I spent hours last night until I figured out what I wanted and what I needed to buy.

I am happy where I, as a consumer, can get online and find precisely what I want and get what I need without leaving my house in the hot, Texas summer.

However, I am a little surprised with many of the cheesy and ugly wedding necessities people try to pawn off on brides. And if one isn't interested in frumpy lace, feminine hearts, or trendy polka dots, one had better be ready to pull out their fat pocketbooks to buy the ONE hip, elegant, attractive item ONE company offers. Weddings are brutal.

After a lengthy time staring at a computer screen, donning my carpal tunnel shield, I found a few buys that I am happy to have purchased.

The Beverly Clark Manhattan Collection pictured above at http://magicalday.com/ was the first thing I bought. Honestly, I am not sure about the flutes or the cutting pieces, but I can always use those as a gift for someone later. If there is a better set of wedding items, I couldn't find them and I tried.

The beautiful Interfaith Ketubah (Jewish wedding contract) from the http://ketubahstore.com/ was the least expensive I could find on the internet. And I love the artist Nava Shalom. I have seen her ketubahs sell for a lot more. The best Ketubah spot online!



I am still hunting for unity candles, still looking at registering, and still eying the debit card wondering what else do I need to purchase. Ahh, yes, I still need to find the perfect pair of shoes, but that is not a task for the world wide web. No, shoe shopping might take the full nine months until our wedding date. At the very least it will take several leisurely afternoons of sultry saunters and sighs. Until I can actually get to Neiman Marcus, it won't hurt to browse.

The Wedding DJ Makes the Worst Bride

When I got engaged I thought it would be so easy to plan a wedding. After years of seeing and participating in events, helping all my friends and acquaintances, and talking to wedding vendors daily, I thought I might know a thing or two. Maybe not.

After the past week and a half, I find myself overwhelmed and stressed. I realized on Monday that during my daughter's nap time: I was trying to juggle sales calls, a contractor for a bathroom on the fritz, a blog, writing thank you notes for Brides Against Breast Cancer, while frantically trying to do the last edit on my first novel because some wonderful agent actually wants to read the whole manuscript.

So, I hired a wedding coordinator. Kathie Millen and Amber with Austin Wedding Planners and Elite events. I didn't hire them fast enough. I was a crazy person at our meeting yesterday, holding up a magazine photo of flowers, saying "these are my colors. Can you do it?"



Kathie knows how I work and thank God for this. I had the list of vendors and contracts in my head and I couldn't even fill out her paperwork appropriately and on time. She was very forgiving. Kathie also knows the ins and outs of a Jewish ceremony and/or Jewish Interfaith ceremony. I knew she could be sensitive to our family's religious and emotional needs while respecting both myself and Brandt.

Did I also mention she has a warehouse full of wonderful items for decorations? And she said we could actually go there and pick items out?

She even asked me the kind of cake I wanted and she would order it for me from Michelle's Patisserie. I do love Michelle and would love to do a tasting, but I don't like cake except for carrot and German Chocolate and that is exactly what I ordered. I already have tasted those and I can't wait to eat them on our wedding day. Yes, I asked for a tres leches for the bottom tier, for the guests. I hear it is fabulous, but the only way I can keep the weight off in the wedding industry is to stay away from the cake. A little wonderful note: Michelle does not use fondant unless requested. (Big sigh of relief, my mother loves butter cream)



After all that, Kathie is taking care of writing up the budget I am tired of pouting over and happily accepts my snap decisions. She knows all I want to do is be a mama, be a wife, write, and decide on the music for my wedding. I said several times "Just surprise me"! And I know better! I know that the bride who doesn't give a lot of direction is the scariest bride of them all. All of her wedding vendors, praying during her event, they have met her veiled expectations. I am that bride now and Lauren at Vintage Villas and Kathie Millen are unfettered, calming all my concerns, so I can jump into the realm of a more balanced life.

To hire Elite or Austin Wedding Planners go to: http://www.austinweddingplanners.com

Here are a few other coordinators I love:

Keri Wootton owner of Leave the Details to Me keri@leavethedetails2me.com
Barbara Hearne owner of Barbara's Brides http://www.barbarasbrides.com
Tanya Posavatz CSEP owner of [clink] http://www.clinkevents.com

I Found the Dress

After a wonderful weekend volunteering for Bride's Against Breast Cancer, I have found my wedding gown. Yes, it is couture and 100% of the proceeds went to a wonderful charity. In fact, I am wearing the dress as I write this post. I love silk.

During the past few days I was reminded why I love working in the wedding industry. Not only were we able to raise $1000's of dollars for charity, but we had so many prizes to give away to brides. I was warmed by the many happy tears as other women found their dress or won a trip for two.

Shopping for a dress was new to me and watching other brides shopping for a dress was a part of the wedding process I have never paid any attention to and I was overwhelmed.

In order for me to prepare for Brides Against Breast Cancer and buy a dress I have spent so much time researching and learning.

Did you know:
The dress should be stored in a breathable cotton bag? (No plastic)
There is no need to pay for dress preservation? Just wrap dress with cotton muslin and keep it out of direct sunlight. Once a year pull the dress out, wash the muslin, and wrap the dress again.
Couture dresses run small? Sometimes even by more than one size? (cruel)
A dress can usually be let out by 1 size, but can be reduced by about 2 sizes?

It is only because of so many great vendors we were able to accomplish and create a spectacular event. My hats off go to The Renaissance Hotel, Elite Weddings, An Event to Remember, Men's Wearhouse, Dragon Fly Designs, Floral Renaissance, Ron Parks Photography, Ideal Heel, Bouquets of Austin, Premiere Party Central, and The Wedding Guide. Not only were they amazing, but so were all those fantastic volunteers. It was no small feat.

We are already getting ready Brides Against Breast Cancer in 2011!

Brides Against Breast Cancer

Untitled from Complete Music & Video Austin on Vimeo.

Not the dress I bought, but who could resist wearing an Angie Sanchez gown. After watching this video, I am realizing it is true, the camera does add 10 pounds to the figure.